


Fireflies

by metacrisis_chook



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Berthold has never been good in my eyes so I consider it pretty canon-y, Bittersweet, Childhood Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, FullMetal Alchemist - Freeform, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Pre-Canon, Pre-Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Royai - Freeform, Slight fluff, Subtle Royai, The childlike wonder that comes with fireflies, Young Royai, aka Roy tries to cheer up Riza, spoilers for character backstories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:33:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24328075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metacrisis_chook/pseuds/metacrisis_chook
Summary: Over the month he had spent in apprenticeship, Roy had learned that the Hawkeye household was not a place of smiles or laughter, because Berthold had long sunk into a depressive spiral and seemed determined to drag his daughter down with him.A young Royai oneshot. Riza and Roy discover the magical little bugs while on a stroll, but life isn't always as wondrous as a jar full of fireflies.
Relationships: Riza Hawkeye & Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Comments: 9
Kudos: 31





	Fireflies

**Author's Note:**

> Please check tags for trigger and spoiler warnings, though they aren't particularly severe in the story

It was a warm summer evening, and Riza had taken Roy for a stroll near the woods. The grass was long at their feet, the sky above them painted with the pinks and golds of sunset. It hadn’t meant to be a stroll - Riza had headed out to grab a few things she needed to make dinner, when Roy had appeared and offered to tag along, saying he had nothing to do before his next lesson, and she had found herself unable to say no. The trip to the market was a short affair, but their walk home had somehow turned into a detour to the surrounding hills, as they lost themselves in mindless chatter until their shadows turned long. Every second they spent away from the Hawkeye residence was potentially risking Berthold’s anger, but they stayed out for as long as they dared; it felt liberating to be away from the stifling atmosphere of the old house.

Riza had warmed up to the new apprentice boy considerably over the last month. He didn’t try to get overly familiar with her like some of her father’s previous students had, nor did he turn up his nose at her like she had expected him to do, coming from the city and all. They had built up a cautious friendship over the weeks, and today’s stroll seemed to give it a nice little boost. Roy was doing most of the talking, as usual. He was telling her about his life back with his aunt and his many sisters ( _he grew up in a **bar**?_ Riza’s eyes widened when she heard, but she was more curious than anything else), his few friends back in his old school, about the maze of streets he would traverse everyday on his way back home, and how all the shopowners who doted on him would wave at him as he passed by, and reward him with an occasional treat. It made her a little jealous, because her own life had been quite dull in comparison. And while the locals were kind to her, they still tended to keep a fearful distance, undoubtedly because of who her father was. Not that Berthold ever went down to the marketplace or anywhere in town himself, but he had his reputation. She still felt lucky, in a way, that she had the woods and the surrounding hills to escape to whenever she got the chance, the wide spaces under the open sky - something Roy said he didn’t have much of growing up.

Riza would have liked the walk to last longer, but she had chores to attend to, and Roy would probably be burdened with additional work if he were late for his lessons. So she cherished the moments while they lasted, strolling down the hill with her new friend - her only friend, at this point - doing her best to capture it in her mind; the soft tufts of grass at her feet, the sweet summer air that made her a little drowsy; the peaceful silence of the evening, broken only by the occasional sound of cicadas, and of course, Roy’s voice still prattling away, but it didn’t feel out of place, more like a comforting backdrop in her mind.

As they slowly made their way down, they chanced upon a little bunch of fireflies.

She loved fireflies, and was really excited to see them, but she was even more surprised to see how much Roy marveled at them, even more than she did, and he admitted to never having seen one before. Riza quite enjoyed watching him going wide-eyed over them, and let him have a few minutes chasing the bugs around before she reminded him of the time. He sulked, but knew that they had better hurry back. On their way home, they both agreed that they would come back, and Riza even promised to show him how to catch one.

They came back after a week, ready with a glass jar.

It was an old jam jar Roy had found while rummaging in the store room, which he had cleaned and presented to Riza victoriously, and she was impressed with his commitment to firefly hunting. Before heading out, they made preparations to the best of their abilities; there was nothing they could use as a net, so the catching would have to be done by hand, but they were luckier in other aspects. Roy watched with heightened interest as Riza filled the jar with grass and a few apple slices, and she explained the technicalities to him (“They can survive on the apples for a little while and grab onto the pieces as well if they need to, and they like hiding in the grass”). They tiptoed out of the house at their first chance, and in no time at all found themselves chasing after a small swarm.

It was a wonderful experience for Roy, and a great escape for Riza. They played around for a while, huddling over the grass to see the little lightning bugs up close, trying to coax them onto their palms. Riza finally got one, and Roy stretched out his hand excitedly. She managed to make it walk down the length of her finger, and Roy’s own hovered barely a hair’s width below, waiting for the bug to jump over. Instead, it took off, circling once around Roy’s head almost tauntingly before flying away. Roy cried out in exasperation and jumped on his feet, and promptly began to chase the whole swarm above their heads. The sight of him running around desperately snatching at the air made Riza break out into a fit of giggles. Half indignant, half grinning, Roy demanded that she catch one instead. She got up (deciding not to remind him that she _had_ caught one just moments ago), and joined him in the fruitless endeavor, the bugs scattering from their clutches like sparks from a fire. At one point, Roy tried swinging the whole jar through the air, and Riza had to stop him before he either fell over or smacked her face with it. “Slow down!” she cried out, still deeply amused by her friend’s antics. “You have to be patient.” She plopped down onto the grass again, waiting for the fireflies to calm down, and Roy followed suit. She clicked her tongue when she spotted the jar, its contents strewn everywhere thanks to Roy’s deranged swinging, and he hastily began to put them back inside. 

Riza waited with her hands cupped, Roy on her side, but the fireflies seemed to be wary of them now. Eventually, they all floated away, leaving one empty jar and two crestfallen children. They decided to call it quits, because it had grown quite dark and they needed to get back. It had grown a little _too_ late, in fact, and with every step they took back towards home, Riza’s smile grew smaller and smaller. Roy didn’t miss it, but he kept his mouth shut, mentally kicking himself for going overboard and losing track of time. Whatever had been left of his good mood completely evaporated at the thought of what would be waiting for them.

And sure enough, they knew they were in trouble the second they set foot inside the house. Berthold’s cold fury radiated all over the place. While Roy was given around three nights’ of homework to be completed by the next morning, he thought he’d gotten it easier, for Riza had been denied dinner and sent off to clean the old library upstairs, and warned to not come down until she was done. Roy had tried to intervene, but Berthold had flashed him a maddening look, and he quailed under his master’s gaze, though his hands shook in anger all the same. Roy didn’t have the appetite to have his own dinner that night, his mouth horribly bitter. He finished his nightly lessons without a single word and retired to his room early, arms laden with heavy tomes. He did try to complete some of the work he’d been assigned, but his mind was elsewhere. He waited restlessly till Berthold had gone to bed. 

Once Roy was sure the coast was clear, he grabbed whatever he could find in the kitchen and hurried his way to the old library where Riza was still working, her tired limbs toiling away at the wooden floorboards. Roy offered to help, but Riza just drove him away, telling him to leave. He knew she wasn’t angry at him, but it broke him to see her like this. But he could be stubborn too when he wanted to, and he refused to go. Roy knew there was every chance they’d be caught by his master and he shuddered to think what kind of trouble Riza would be in if it happened - but if it did, he decided he wouldn’t stay quiet this time. 

He respected Berthold for all that he taught him - the man really was a genius, there was no mistake in that - but Roy had grown sick of him treating his daughter like she was some unpleasant smidge of dirt stuck to the bottom of his shoe. It was very reckless of him, but Roy was ready to jeopardize his apprenticeship if it meant he could do something for Riza. Let the man come, he thought savagely. But a part of his brain also told him that he didn’t have to worry - Berthold would probably not bother to check on his daughter. And so Roy stayed, ignoring Riza’s protests, picking up the old books and dusting them one by one. Eventually, Riza stopped trying to argue with him. 

Though she was glad for his help, she felt like if she tried to say it out loud she might cry, and the last thing she wanted was to create a scene. And so they both worked through the night, scrubbing the floorboards, dusting the old volumes and the furniture, and arranging the books in the shelves. The collection was incredible - on any other occasion, Roy would have lost his mind and probably started reading one of the books and forgotten about everything else completely, but the task at hand was more important. The sky was growing lighter by the time they were done. Roy had brought some food upstairs, which she had refused to eat when he had come into the library and offered it to her, but by this point Riza was practically trembling with hunger and didn’t protest. She broke the slightly-stale loaf of bread in half and gave it to him. It was his turn to protest, but she held it out sternly, a fierce stubbornness radiating from her eyes. He couldn’t refuse (and he was hungry anyway), and the two sat on the floor, nibbling on bread and washing it down with milk, watching dawn bleed out into the sky. 

Roy walked her to her room afterwards; she was dangerously wobbly with sleep, and he was worried she might fall down the stairs. Riza wanted to go down to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for her father, but Roy firmly made her go to bed, assuring her that he’d take care of it. Berthold didn’t know nor particularly care who prepared his food for him, he always assumed it was Riza because that’s what he was used to. Riza looked like she wanted to try to put up one last fight, but instead she uttered a quiet thanks and gave him a small smile. Though it died quickly, it was enough to lift Roy’s spirits. She then bid him goodnight - good morning? - managing only a sleepy wave because she couldn’t stop yawning.

Roy wasn’t feeling particularly energetic either, but he was still very happy with his successful mission. In fact, he stayed in quite a good mood even during his morning lessons when Berthold snapped at him for not finishing his work. He stayed an extra couple of hours with his teacher until he had covered up for it. Roy noticed that Berthold didn’t comment on Riza’s absence at breakfast, and he was glad that he knew she was sleeping peacefully without an empty stomach.

Riza came downstairs later in the day, just in time for making lunch. Despite her exhaustion, she was still too hardwired to not be afraid of being subjected to another round of her father’s violent temper, and she couldn’t make herself rest beyond a few hours. But she did feel much better after sleeping, and went down to work right away. She spotted Roy, still trapped in the study - with a pang of guilt, she realized he couldn’t have gotten any sleep himself, with his first lessons of the day scheduled right after breakfast. He had gone out of his way to help her, forsaking his own tasks. She wondered if her father had assigned him even more work as punishment, and she felt guiltier than ever.

Last night, she hadn’t been taking her own punishment as well as she normally did, possibly because she had been having so much fun with Roy, running after fireflies in the woods - the memory hardly felt real to her anymore, more like a snippet of someone else’s happy dream, for she, Riza Hawkeye, couldn’t possibly have been the one to be indulging in such carefree hours. The stark contrast between her shortlived happiness and the crash back to reality through Berthold’s cruelty was almost too much for her to bear, and she had left for the library as quickly as she could, before the tears spilled over her eyes and before Roy or her father could see them. Alone in the dusty library, she had found it easier to regain control of her emotions, and the tears were held back, but they had threatened to come out once again when Roy came sneaking into the room and refused to leave her to deal with the impossible task by herself. They had worked together in silence, later sitting down together as well by the floor-length window, watching the sun creep over the forest, and she had awkwardly shared with him half the loaf of bread that he had brought up for her. She didn’t know how to thank him - mere words couldn’t convey how grateful she was - but she hoped he’d understand.

Days flew by, and while Berthold did not punish Roy with additional work after the morning of that incident, he continued being foul with his daughter. Roy couldn’t do much but grit his teeth and pretend to ignore the whole thing, because the more he interfered the greater the danger, and it was always Riza who had to pay the price no matter what had gotten on her father’s nerves. At least he didn’t stop her from having meals again, and Roy didn’t want to mess that up. He had little chance to talk to Riza, with the pressure of his own studies and her drowning in housework. He helped her whenever he could, avoiding his master’s eyes, but it was too little to make any substantial difference. Whenever he saw Riza’s face, it was gloomy, and her eyes were downcast, and it saddened him to no end, and with every day that passed, he grew even more restless. He had to do something.

On the night of the sixth day, he came running into the attic, where she had been sent to sort out the old boxes and trunks. She looked at him quizzically, but he had to take a full minute to catch his breath. Only then did he hold his arms out, in which he carried a jar full of fireflies.

Technically, it was only one firefly - and he had to expend all the effort he could muster to catch it. He looked at her - she was speechless in astonishment - and wondered if he had been dumb to feel jubilant about catching only one of the little bugs and running down to the house in excitement. She was perhaps used to catching two or three at a time on her own. Roy felt very stupid indeed, a flush rising in his cheeks. But his worries were proven wrong, because a moment later, her face lit up with the first smile he had seen on it in the last few days. “You caught one!” She sounded so delighted that it was infectious, and Roy felt himself grinning sheepishly too, his ears very pink. She was completely engrossed with the jar now (as he had hoped she would be), praising his efforts (which he had never dared to hope for, but was pleased to hear), and for a while, they forgot about the chores and sat down, talking about fireflies, and watching the one in the jar flutter around.

He had hoped that she would keep it for a few days, but she told him that it would be unwise, saying that they didn’t have very long lifespans and it wouldn’t last very long in confinement. “It would be cruel to keep it trapped in that little glass prison, you know.” She splayed her fingers over the jar, as the little bug crawled slowly on the other side. “It’ll fly in circles until it can’t anymore. And eventually, it’ll die in there if it can’t get out.” She looked at the firefly with sad eyes, but not quite looking at it either, and Roy stared at her quietly.

And so the following night, they headed out together to release it. Either one of them could have let it out from the house, but Roy insisted that they wait until it was dark and go to where he had caught it, so they could set it free as close to its home (or what they assumed) as possible, and he took Riza with him. She had been hesitant to go at first, anxious about the repercussions if they got caught again, but relented afterwards. They sneaked out after they were certain Berthold had retired to his room for the night, treading down the familiar path now gently bathed in moonlight. The night air was cool and refreshing, and made the hike quite enjoyable.

They came to a stop on the crest of a small hill. There was no hurry today, so they settled down on the grass, resting their tired feet. The glass jar sat in between them, its little occupant scuttling inside, waiting.

Minutes passed, and neither of them spoke. A few tiny specks of light blinked nearby, darting in and out of the long grass, but they didn’t get too close to the children. Finally, Riza looked at him expectantly, and he reached out for the glass container.

The firefly began to glow dimly, as if it could anticipate what was about to happen.

“Here, you do it.” He held the jar out to her. She seemed a little taken aback, but nodded. Taking the jar into her hands, she slowly unscrewed the top, careful not to agitate the insect inside, and then held the jar up in the air.

The firefly took off, glowing brightly now, leaving a blazing trail in its wake.

Magically, almost as if on cue, the fireflies in the distance started drawing closer, as if they had sensed the return of their friend. Soon, they had all gathered around the two children, and Roy was amazed at the sheer number of them. It was like all the stars had come down from the sky and begun dancing around them. And in the middle of it all was Riza, the soft glow of the fireflies reflected in her eyes, the same delight creeping over her face just as he had seen back on that day, and unbeknownst to her, Roy’s thrill at seeing fireflies for the first time in his life had been nothing compared to what he felt when he had caught her smiling at them with pure, unbridled joy.

He had been astonished, because he’d never seen such an expression on her face before. It was like a glimpse of a Riza Hawkeye that he never knew existed, the glimpse of a little girl who had known happier times, whose life had still been unmarred by death and desolation. Over the month he had spent in apprenticeship, Roy had learned that the Hawkeye household was not a place of smiles or laughter, because Berthold had long sunk into a depressive spiral and seemed determined to drag his daughter down with him. He couldn’t imagine how she had been living like that on her own, trapped inside the monotonous cycle of a life, like a nightmare played on loop.

But now that he was here and witnessed it with his own eyes, Roy resolved to make things better for her. And while he didn’t know how he would be able to free her from her own glass prison or how long it would even take, he was going to keep trying, even if it meant making up silly excuses to go on walks with her, or catching a new firefly for her every single day.

He was going to shatter the glass one punch at a time.

**Author's Note:**

> metacrisis_chook, writing something that isn't an episode re-exploration? :P Must be the end of times. I love Royai with all my heart, and if I love anything more, it's young Royai! I imagined Riza to be around 9ish (but no less) and Roy to be 11ish years old here, I hope that makes sense.
> 
> Fireflies are something, I feel, that sparks the same kind of joy in everyone, no matter how old we are, and I wrote this in an attempt to paint a magical scene with fireflies and our precious babies (though it probably sounds less impressive here than what is in my head). They deserve all the happiness in the world ♥ I listened to the song (you know which one!) a million times while going over the draft. Much like the bugs themselves, the song hasn't lost an ounce of its magic over the years! I also drew a little inspiration from Doctor Who, I wonder if anyone will be able to make the connection hehe :3
> 
> I don't know if I went overboard with Berthold's character here, but I have no love for him and I'm okay with him being an irredeemable prick. The scenes with Riza's punishments were not fun to write. But I tried my best. Some things must be written straightforwardly in order to convey just how horrible they are. Besides, Riza isn't alone anymore. She's so incredibly strong in my mind, but it doesn't mean that she has to face life alone. I'll leave it to Roy to stand by her side, because he is an absolute sweetheart :3 And you do get to break the glass prison in the end, Roy, though you don't know it yet! And you have no idea how she's going to be there for you in the days to come.
> 
> It's a humble attempt at Royai, and I wish I could've done it more justice, but I'd like to dedicate this to @ymirme, for her constant love and support, giving some much needed wrench-therapy whenever I need it and never backing away as I jump from one bizarre fic idea to another ~ and to @firewoodfigs , because she has done the same for me, and also because apparently it's the woman's birthday today and I didn't even KNOW -.- This makes for a really crappy birthday present bc it's not 100% happy Royai, but I hope you'll accept this mess anyway :3


End file.
